Why Are You So Nice?

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That's a question I get asked all the time. When I look back at my life, I see a former people pleaser. My business was to make others happy. I was a girl who:

1. was on everyone's team
2. was ready to go to great lengths to make everyone happy
3. wanted everyone to like her
4. offered her assistance in anyway she could
5. took criticism as a personal attack against her and was ready to go to great lengths to change it
6. sacrificed her own wants and needs for the sake of others

And all of this with the hope that the same would be given to me in return. IT NEVER WAS. Being a people pleaser is not necessarily a bad thing in theory but being overly agreeable and always making yourself available to help others while letting their needs take precedence over your own, IS BAD.

So here's what I need you to do. I need you to be selfish. Yeah, you heard me. BE SELFISH! Focus on yourself! Put the attention back on you and stop giving away all your happiness for the sake of others. I know this reasoning contradicts everything you've ever learned but, if you want to have any type of peace and happiness in your life, then this is what you need to do.

Putting all your time and effort into people who don't care to return the effort will leave you feeling angry, resentful and unappreciated. There's nothing wrong with doing for others and while I wholeheartedly encourage it, if you're lacking in your own personal development while others are reaping the benefits of your generosity, I need you to make some changes NOW!

Take the following test to see if you're a people pleaser:

1. Do you have a hard time saying no to people?
2. When saying yes to someone/something, do you later feel resentful, angry or guilty?
3. Do you avoid expressing your feeling to others?
4. Do you avoid getting angry?
5. Are you afraid of rocking the boat?
6. Do you admire those who speak their minds?
7. Are you overly agreeable?